Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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