I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
