spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
