how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
