she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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