You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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