just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
