Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
