Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped