Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way