I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
