i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
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I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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