Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
