Where did you get a picture of my penis
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
