If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
last night I used snow as a chaser
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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