I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
