Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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