When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize