Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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