Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
