Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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