I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
