What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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