I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
