Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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