I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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