STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
