Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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