I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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