At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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