I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
