just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
