I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
