No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
