btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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