I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
