Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize