she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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