you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
