So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
