he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
