My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
