maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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