highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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