'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize