Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
