I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My vagina is very pro this idea
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
