Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i now understand why vodka
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
