sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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