one might say we're banned from that church
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
