Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
