I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
