Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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