If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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