she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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