do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
