Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He shit in the fireplace
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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