The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
