it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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