I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i permit you to call me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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