party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Everything about him screamed your future.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
