why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
