i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
