do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
