That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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