im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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