This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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