whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
