Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he breathalyzed me before we had sex.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm wearing red that night.

(301): View more from Maryland

Noted, what shade?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Whore.

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(239): View more from Florida

Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.

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(619): View more from California

I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon

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