what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I want to fling myself into the sun
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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