Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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